Exclusive Dating Service's

Wow, why does it surprise me?
I mean in a world of IM's, super speed texting, 'E-harmonize your life' and 'meet the match of your life' via email promises. Why would it surprise me that there are also just as many offerings for 'exclusive dating services'.

Does it not seem too good to be true? These ad's that promise you the opportunity of meeting someone, 'exclusive, financially secure and ready to marry'..... and all you have to do is send them professional photography head shots - full length shots and a bio about yourself. UHHHMMM
Sounds too good to be true right? I mean this sounds easy doesn't it. I mean you get a professional head hunter, who prowls their list of exclusive clients for you. Then they arrange your 1st meeting and poof, just like that, your prince charming awaits and by the sounds of their advertisement, he might come with his own horse and castle. Are you interested in signing up yet???

I mean they say "exclusive and financially secure", sounds more like it could be, reclusive and they are over extended on their credit line..... What is 'exclusive' anyway?

I mean I myself won't date just anyone, I am very picky, especially after the last one.... so does this make me exclusive?

My next question would be if they are such a great catch. Why have they not already found someone. I mean don't you think they probably have every hot babe, with hair extensions, a size 0 body and cosmetic enhancements in town knocking down their door for that ultra elusive opportunity.

But still it intrigues me, I mean they offer up these kinds of statistics to get you to sign up:

30% Couple up on the 1st introduction
Explain this one, I mean I might have a 30% chance myself if I were ready and willing at the local bar on any given night...Cant they do better than that, this isn't making me want to sign up. I think I would have a better than 30% chance if I just get out and be social. I mean I might have a 30% chance of getting in a car wreck during rush hour and who knows maybe I will 'run into' my soul mate.

45% Need only 3 introductions to pair off in exclusive dating relationships
So here is another statistic, based on their clients record. So are they saying that you only need to meet the person 3x before you decide to exclusively date? Or is it that within the 3rd meeting of someone "exclusive" and new you will have a 45% chance that you will start dating that person exclusively. Didn't Mom always say the "3rd time's the charm". Or was it "some people are snake charmers"?

So now I am really wondering..I don't think I have ever known for sure that by the 3rd date I would like someone enough to really date them exclusively. I mean isn't that still that 'new time' that tingly feeling in your stomach. Don't you have to wait till the 'new' wears off until you truly see each other for who they are. Then you start deciding, hey this might be someone worth dating exclusively... Or do I have it all wrong?

I guess you will have to post your comments and let me know how well you have fared with these ultra modern and hi-tech ways of dating.... Just maybe you might convince me to spend the money and go get those head shots done.... Until then I will stick to my current modus operandus. Its simple, doesn't cost me anything, I don't have to do a personality profile and I don't have to get 'winked at' in my In Box. Its really simple and rudimentary, I just simply smile at every person I see and make eye contact with. You never know who might be smiling back. It just might be an exclusive match and I didn't even have to provide head shots for this one and I didn't need a 'corporate recruiter' moonlighting as a 'match-maker' either.

I am still interested in your take on this. Post your comments. Lets see if we can do better than 30%.

Do Looks Matter?

Singles dinner for 8. We went to a nice restaurant last night for dinner, we had a ratio of 5 to 3 women to men. So we were about par for the course. Why is it there is always more women than men at any singles gathering it seems? The evening was great; food fantastic and the wine and chatter superb.

Then the inevitable after dinner conversation out on the veranda, quickly seemed to evolve into why we were all single? As one gentleman so candidly pointed out, "I don't understand why any of you ladies are single, you are all attractive."

HUMMMM.... I felt all of a sudden like all of us were like penguins in the Antarctic. We were all quickly looking for a small warm spot in the middle where you can tuck your head in and hide, not be seen and hopefully ignore the comment.

I mean, the question, I am sure he meant to be a compliment of some sort, I guess??, But it ended up really sounding more like a fact finding mission for the men. Those kinds of comments on the surface seem flattering, but underneath its like it had a different meaning.

So, if we are good looking enough that we should not be single, then whats wrong with us and why are we single? Is that what he was really asking? It reminds me of something along the lines of, " hey lets cut to the chase, your single and attractive, so what kind of baggage are you carrying, there must be something else wrong with you?"

It's funny really, I mean it made me look at the person who made the statement:
Good looking, well dressed, can carry great conversation with anyone it seems and on the outside would appear to be a great catch, by all normal outer appearances that is. So why is he single? Why was he not out on a hot date, or with a long term significant other? Why was he with all the rest of us, "good-looking singles", who's main commonality by the way is the same church, and a love of good food and wine?

So back to his question to which one women responded, "What do looks have to do with anything?" Her statement, although not defensive, really probably was. I mean non of us wants to be dated for our looks and looks alone, or do we?

This battle of the looks continued over an after dinner Port. In which both men agreed and admitted that the male species does think more about the looks of a potential companion and they admit it is important to them. More so than women though? OK - touche.

So we agree, looks are what we all are attracted to in the first place, how else do you meet someone. You see them, your attracted and you approach them. Right?

As much as we, the women, tried to defend our 'new ways'. We all seemed to be of the same opinion that somehow it seems like our past relationships, the ones that had failed obviously, usually started based on pure physical attraction and chemistry alone. We all wanted something more now, so it begs to question.

Do looks really matter and if so how much? Can we really put looks and chemistry on the back burner and try to just be open minded to meeting new people and not deciding in an instant whether or not they are 'dating material' based on appearance alone. Can we really try to look deeper at a persons character, personality and heart first? Can we eventually see someone as being good looking only after we know their whats inside, rather than qualifying them by whats on the outside?

The question we really should ask is, will society learn to accept that looks aren't everything? Do we feel pressure from society, our friends, our business associates to date a certain 'look'? and can we look beyond, the 'look'?

As this gentleman so poignantly put it, "I don't see any of you dating anyone who looks like 'Erkel' anytime soon".

I guess I can't prove him wrong until I meet an 'Erkel' looking guy.... But, it is something to think about. Do looks matter?

Whats age got to do with it?

WHAT'S THE RIGHT AGE?

I was talking to a friend of mine today and we were talking about a certain family who owns and is developing a lot of land north of our city. When I say a lot I mean in the millions of dollars.

In short our conversation turned to the fact that this family not only is prominent, but that there are 4 sons and they all are Dr's in the family. In jest, we both joked around about whether or not any of them were single.

Now before you men read this and think "gold-digger". 1) We were just kidding around and 2) You men do the same thing. The only difference is that there are some women out there who do dig for gold and then men dig for silicon. (and I am not talking about the high tech version either). So in all fairness both sides (men and women) have some bad apples out there, who make us all look shallow.

Back to my story. So here we are joking about the brothers and the plausibility of them being single. To which my friend add's, "OH there way to old for you anyway" and I had to pause and think. I guess the dead silence on my end triggered the same thought with her too. Because at the same time we both laughed and said "well heck what's too old?"

I mean if you had to write a personal ad to attract your Mr. or Miss. right. Would age really play a factor. I mean what if you put an age range and that someone special was 5 years older or 5 years younger? What if there was a 10 year difference? 15 year difference? Would that really be a deal breaker.

Why does the older guy dating a younger girl become labeled as a lucky old fart, yet an older women dating a younger guy is called a 'cradle-robber'? I mean what is this age thing anyway and why do we place such value on it when it comes to dating?

Is it the age or the person that matters. After all in this age of cosmetic alterations and healthy lifestyles aren't we all looking younger and younger for our age anyway?

Now of course there is that occasional. 'No way' relationship. You know the ones I am talking about. The guy in his 60's with a girl in her 20s. He looks like he could use a quick puff off an oxygen bottle and she looks like she just stepped out of FHM magazine. But hey, its mutually beneficial right? I mean they are both getting a need met. Hers is financial stability and his is having a need to keep that Viagra prescription going. Maybe a strong heart and libido keeps you out of the old folks home. We all hear them say it "age is all in your mind". If that's the case, I want to have the mind I have now, in the body I had in my early 20's. OH and I'll take the face too. No need to keep these laugh lines, they remind me of the life lines of a tree. The older I get the more lines I see.

So do I care about the age thing and what people would say?
I would love to say my answer is no, but honestly. I don't really want to find myself dating someone who's daughter is my age. When it comes down to it I want to date a tree that has close to the same amount of life rings as I do. With that said it will be my luck that I will meet and fall in love with the next star of the Viva Viagra commercials.

So whats in an age anyway? It all depends on how you count it.

When the 'ex' calls

So is there a good christian way to be cordial to your ex when they call? I mean I guess I know the answer is yes and how to do it would be to be forgiving have no malice in our heart etc...etc... Let the past be the past, Right?

Well then why is it so much easier and seemingly more gratifying to be a BITC!. I mean its been nine months and I have been happy, I am doing great. Feeling awesome about everything in my life. Then out of the blue 9 months later he decides to call.

Why do you men like to do that anyway? Is it in your genes or something, I mean do you have your watch set on a timer so that at that exact moment when we have vanquished you from our memories, you just so happen to decide to waltz right back in. I mean really, come on, I had finally stopped thinking about you; gotten rid of all the pictures and gifts you gave (well except for the really good ones). Then, right when I start feeling normal and sane again and I had finally stopped asking myself 'whats wrong with me?". BAMM, you come out of no where, kind of like Emeril throwing garlic in your eye. You know the Chef on TV, OK never mind.

Honestly, I thought I erased you out of my phone. I mean it took me 6 months to erase you from my mind. So when I looked at the caller id, I honestly hesitated only for a few seconds, knowing it could not possibly be you. But it was you! Drat's I thought to myself, I mean if I would of just let the call go to voicemail. Then at least I would of had the pleasure of 'deleting' you again....for the last time.

In my past life, I would of still been angry, upset and asking you all kinds of "why questions". In my past, I would of been asking "what took you so long to call". Why wait 9 months? Not to mention all the four letters words I would of probably been spewing like a water geyser in heat.

But this was different, I am different it seems. I just sat there and listened to you for the first few minutes and I found myself just asking God to help me say what I needed.

Then I thought briefly, its not supposed to be like this, not on the phone. I was secretly hoping that I would run into you one night while wearing a great little black dress after I had lost 10lbs. Me looking great of course, all for the pure satisfaction of knowing that you would be drooling and feeling like a BIG LOOSER for every letting me go. At least that's how it played out in my head.

But you know, that's how I felt today on the phone. I mean I felt great, I was happy content and your phone call really didn't phase me. I felt like the woman in that little black dress, looking great and feeling 'sexy', and you walk by looking like a slouch, with some really ugly girl that weighs 20lbs more than me. (OK, so maybe that part isn't so christian), but all you women have had similar thoughts, right? I mean I am not the only one who actually dreamed these vendetta role plays up in my head am I?

Maybe this isn't the most christian way to gloat about it, but I am really glad I am doing awesome and my life is in such a great place right now. I am so glad that God is a huge part of my life and my heart these days. So christian or not, I felt like I was on top of the world and I felt like I was walking by in that little black dress. Had I not been in such a good place, I might of been tempted to carry on the conversation with you and worse yet, I might of fallen for that 'fishing lure' you threw out "gosh I miss seeing your beautiful face".. yeah right, does this kind of line really work on women? All I could do was be cordial, be nice and keep the conversation short. I think you got the point. I wasn't interested.

God, thanks for making me feel so great and for letting me wear that little black dress when that phone call came in! No need for revenge, I got satisfaction and I got to gloat after I hung up. Besides, I still still need to loose that 10lbs anyway.

Next time YOU answer the phone and its your ex, just put on the little black dress in your mind and let God do the talking. It works wonders!